Mr. Flowerchild Finds Himself

It takes so little to amuse some people. And I, in turn, am amused at their amusement.

Take, for instance, Mr. Flowerchild and the GPS given to him by our eldest child.

Kid #1 bought this little device two summers ago in preparation for his and his girlfriend's move from Michigan to Arizona. "In case we get lost in the desert, Ma," he told me and I just gave him a look because I knew it was all bullshit.

First of all, he knows how to use a regular ole map. Second of all, he knows not to get off the road in an unfamiliar area. Third of all, he just wanted to buy a new toy. Eh, it's his money.

Only, after it came by UPS, the kid is a little unhappy with the device....it doesn't do all the things he wanted it to do. It was hard, but I kept my mouth shut. I don't know what the big deal is about these GPS things anyway. I mean, how long have we been on this planet without knowing where we are at every given moment and managed to survive? My god, it's like it's the end of the human race or something if you don't have one of these things.

Really. I reckon if you don't know where the hell you are, you got no business being there in the first place. I, for one, know where I am and have always been able to locate myself without having some wee machine tell me.

Anyhoo, Kid#1 has a friend named Ralph who has more money than he knows what to do with and also likes to buy toys like GPS's. Ralph didn't like his first one so be bought a different one and, since his first one was about ten time fancier that the one Kid#1(always monetarily challenged) had just bought, Ralph very kindly gave him the cast off.

So, instead of returning the less-than-perfect GPS, Kid#1 gives it to his dad.

Again, I keep my mouth shut. I would have returned it and used the refunded money for the trip. But, again, eh, it's his money and what do I know?

So, now Mr. Flowerchild has a GPS and knows where he is all the time. I, of course, already know where he is. Usually, he's on the couch. The only difference between now and when he didn't have a GPS is that now, eleven satellites know he is on the couch, too.

Sometimes he walks around the backyard with his little GPS held out in front of him. He likes to try and see if he can fool those eleven satellites. "Oh! They found me!" he'll say, and then move to the front yard to see what happens there.

They find him.

They always do.

He likes to take it for rides in the truck with him, too. Takes it fishing and back and forth to work. Heck, they even go see Grandma together. He spends a lot of time with his new best friend and I would be jealous except, fortunately, I'm still sane.

Actually, I'm somewaht stunned that he has adopted this little piece of technology. He has a kind of phobia about computers and the like. The kids and I often accuse him of being stuck in the past....somewhere in 1963 as far as we can reckon....so this fascination he has for the GPS gives me hope that one day he might learn how to make the remote for the DVD player work.

In the meantime, I am just going to have fun watching him find himself. Maybe one of these days I might tell him what a good memory his new best friend has...that every place he goes a tiny map is permanently etched into a little memory chip. So if he ever goes some place he shouldn't oughta, not only will eleven satellites know he's been naughty, I will, too.